How to Set the Basis for Work During the Pandemic.

23 Dec How to Set the Basis for Work During the Pandemic.

Prioritize Self-Care.

To withstand this crisis, I cannot emphasize enough that self-care is of primary importance. If you are a parent or leader in your company or community, it is imperative that you remain calm and collected so you are better able to contain the groups’ anxieties, or keep your children feeling safe. You need to give direction and maintain structure. To do that, you need to take care of yourself first. If you are frazzled, your group will be frazzled. The same is true even if you have no responsibilities aside from yourself. You need to take care of all your basic needs. This may sound obvious, but it shouldn’t be taken for granted. It is vital to maintain a good sleep routine and an energizing morning routine. It is imperative to move and exercise, stay hydrated, and eat well. Soak up some sun from your window every morning. Engage in calming and rewarding activities. Keep or build a community.

We will cover all of these topics and more. For now, pay close attention to how you are using food or other substances for soothing and managing your moods, or rationing your food to gain a sense of control when you feel overwhelmed. We may talk about this later too, but don’t wait. If your use of food or substances is out of control, seek help. Therapists and clinics are working remotely, and there are also free options. You need to take care of yourself now, even if you are not your main priority during normal times.

Knowing what’s good for you and doing it are two different things, so over the next few weeks, we will address the problem of motivation. For the time being, it is essential that you stay home and are okay with it.

In this series, most of the tips I offer will be concrete. Others will be mostly metaphorical, or based on logic.

Working with the body can be a concrete way of dealing with emotions and unpleasant bodily sensations that occur when we are dysregulated. Take the breathing exercises, for example. We can use breathing techniques to lower the level of stress we feel. As Richard Brown from Columbia University teaches us in his book The Healing Power of Breath, as well as in his workshops, breathing is a direct highway to the brain and essential to survival.[1] When we are stressed, the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems become unbalanced. When the sympathetic system prevails, we become agitated and overly activated. Conversely, when the parasympathetic prevails, in extreme cases, we can literally collapse. By breathing deeply and slowly down to the belly, or by making our exhalations longer than our inhalations, we can lower our stress and calm down. Breathing techniques are also effective because they bypass therapeutic work on thoughts and feelings. They are simple, natural exercises shared by therapists, Yoga instructors, and mindfulness teachers.

Thinking metaphorically (or with similes) can help us express and manage emotions. For example, when we say we are “boiling with anger,” we are borrowing the image of hot liquid. We can use the same metaphor to imagine cooling down our anger. When we are feeling overwhelmed and someone lovingly suggests that we “put a lid on it,” we can use this metaphor as a way to contain ourselves before we “overflow” like a boiling pot.

Another example is when we borrow the idea of stretching before a workout to describe the process of mentally “stretching” to accommodate in our experience what is unfamiliar and outside of our comfort zone, but still needed in that particular moment. i.e., Can I stretch (adjust) to the idea of staying home, even if it feels uncomfortable?

Metaphors bring together different but somewhat related worlds, ideas, and feelings. Stress occurs because we feel stuck and don’t see any way out. When our way of thinking is not working for us, adding a related, positive way of thinking may help us find a creative solution, which will provide relief, and may get us unstuck.

For example, if we think of this long, challenging period of lockdown because of the pandemic as a “marathon,” and if we say that this will be a marathon for us, we may feel better about it. A marathon is a long period of preparation that we have chosen. It requires hard training that can be painful, but we know that with the appropriate physical and mental approach, we can do it. The experience may also teach us something. This image gives us a sense of purpose, control, and hope. If we have a positive attitude and the right frame of mind, we can turn this difficult stretch of time into something meaningful and livable.

In Levi Strauss’s famous essay The Effectiveness of Symbols, he describes a shaman helping a woman go through a very difficult childbirth. The symbols the shaman shared with the woman mirrored her current experience of being struck, but went further, depicting changing bit by bit, and culminating in a positive outcome. The woman identified with the story enough to be able to dilate the passage and let the baby out. In a more prosaic form, think of the effect of well-being that a simple, guided meditation of relaxing on a safe and sunny beach can have on us if we are able to build it well in our minds, engaging all of our senses. That may help us ease our frustration quite a bit when we are stuck inside our homes this spring.

Cognitive Behavioral exercises are based on logic and help correct faulty thinking. Our thoughts affect our feelings, and vice versa, creating a feedback loop that makes us spiral downward into negativity, anxiety, and despair. We do that when, for instance, we see our world in black-and-white categories, jump to conclusions and imagine the worse, or think catastrophically. In times like the one we are living now, it is easy to fall into extreme ways of thinking. I can imagine someone who may be extremely anxious convincing themselves with 100% certainty that they will get the coronavirus and die, despite the fact that they are young, healthy, and following all the WHO dictates to a T. Using logic, we can test the probability of our thoughts. We can distinguish what is realistically negative for us and come up with solutions. We can discover our misconceptions and modify our thinking into a more realistic outlook. We also need to find ways to accept what cannot be changed, and do our best to live our life with quality and meaning.

The objective of the first tips I will give here is to calm down your nervous system so you can feel less on-edge and open a space to think. You may choose to focus on the tips that are more in line with your style, but please keep an open mind. I get it if you find some of these exercises simplistic or wasteful of your time. Decades ago, I was an academic with a passion for complex ideas, so I was initially skeptical and quite snobbish about some of these approaches. But in time, I discovered that the simplest and least fancy exercises were precisely what I needed the most, and which gave me the biggest benefits. This is often true for my patients too. I hope you give them a try. If you are a skeptical reader, think of this as “play” and evaluate it later. After all, you are here because you are looking for something.

Disclaimer: Some people will find that selected exercises are better than others. This offers an opportunity to explore and find the ones that work best for you. Also, these short articles are not a substitute for therapy. If you are in need, please seek live help, or call a therapist or help line.

I am excited to help you in your journey to find peace and calm during the pandemic. Stay tuned for the next piece.

a person walking alone at dusk in a snowy Central Park. Courtesy of Gian Paolo Bruschi.

I am in self-isolation at the moment without access to my books, so I am writing out of memory. I think that in days like these is more important to get a message across than to offer a well-crafted quote. I may come back later with a full bibliography.