Handbook of Tools to Withstand even the Stresses of a Coronavirus Pandemic.

23 Dec Handbook of Tools to Withstand even the Stresses of a Coronavirus Pandemic.

In the last few days and weeks, we have all been trying to adapt to the new “normal.” More and more people are experiencing a reasonable feeling of fear, rather than a blasé feeling or flat denial.

Fear is an appropriate response at this moment. It functions like an alarm system, letting us know that something is wrong and that we need to protect ourselves. In times like these, anxiety may run through us, and if that happens, we can only own it as part of our experience. We cannot stop a feeling just to let ourselves relax. But a panicky feeling does not serve us well. Take a breath to clear your mind and create some space for self-observation. If you can, imagine turning your internal dimmer down a bit, so you can listen to your inner talk. Then compare it to your particular reality. Take a full appraisal of your particular situation. Then pause and consider for a moment whether some of the feelings you are having may be exaggerated. Many of us are very fortunate. We have shelter to protect ourselves. We can stock supplies. We have the technology to check the news and check with one another. We can work remotely or have some savings. I am grateful to be in this category. If you are in this category too and you are panicking about your survival, check your internal dialogue. Evaluate the conversations and posts you are reading, make sure you are not feeding on the frenzy. You may be thinking that you are more vulnerable than you really are. If you and your loved ones stay in, the virus will have a hard time reaching you. Still, you may be feeling guilty about your privilege while others are struggling. You may be frustrated because you cannot go out and help others. You may be horrified by the worldwide death toll and pain and by the fact that medical professionals and the government do not yet know how to handle this situation. But your survival is not at stake.

But this category is not all of us. There are also the people that live paycheck to paycheck and may not be able to work remotely. Some people still have to venture out and don’t have the choice to stay in. Others don’t have appropriate shelters. Others do not have a network of connections to lean on. Others don’t have medical insurance. Many, especially in the City, live in small quarters sharing space with people that may not take the virus seriously. Others are locked up in prisons and nursing homes and cannot control their environment. In these cases, the worry is unavoidable. Even if we have at the local level authorities who seem insightful about the situation and plan to help. Even if we have the foresight to think that this outbreak will also help change social inequality in the long term, how can one just relax?

And yet, it is precisely the people that are financially vulnerable and/or have compromised health that need to focus now on their psychological and physical wellbeing and find a healthy state of calm. Falling into despair or panic won’t help. In times like these, we need to maintain a healthy body and a sharp mind and do our best to process what is happening, deepen our connections to ourselves and others, and continue, when possible, our routine and productive life. Now more than ever we need to make sure we do not fall into a downward spiral of worry or panic because we need an unencumbered mind to find creative ways to solve our new problems. We need to build stamina for who knows how many weeks or months of this outbreak. We need to be able to make it safe for our little ones.

In the next few weeks, I am planning to write a series of posts to offer CBT and mindfulness tools to help you cope. The tools I am offering are not my invention. These are basic mindfulness and CBT tools that have been around for a long time and have been proven to work. If you already know them, this is a gentle reminder to use them again. If you are using other tools, please share what works for you. Feel free to request what you may need.

In the next entries you will find tools to help you:

• Calm your nervous system
• Manage your feelings
• Monitor your thoughts
• Establish a morning routine so you can get up out of bed and be active.
• Establish a sleep routine so you can have better sleep
• Avoid Procrastination and Increase Organizational Skills in times when you are on your own.

Coronavirus is causing unprecedented disruptions and to protect ourselves and help flatten the curve we need to adjust our lives in ways that weeks ago were unimaginable. What’s happening may be hard to process. It feels more like a sci-fi movie of zombies or vampires than reality. Our lives, which were running on optimized schedules and predictable events, are becoming more home-based. Our children take part in our remote work meetings. What happens next is unpredictable. We are waiting for news. We are searching for news. We are becoming virus experts. We are resorting to food to cope. We are avid consumers and exchangers of monothematic memes and funny videos. What was taken for granted now feels essential and beautiful. Our long list of A priorities is on hold. Our C priorities are becoming our A priorities.

Despite the anxiety and the bewilderment, I also see how people are taking change in their stride. I hear of music, yoga, and Pilates instructors, school teachers, and professors working creatively, transcending the limitations of teaching in the remote to provide communication, safety, and growth to their students. I see the seeds of positive outcomes when speaking with other therapists. Many of them had no familiarity with teletherapy and are starting to work remotely, even psychoanalysts and even therapists working with children. I sense that their work will be as good or even better under the new circumstances.

We need to maintain a necessary physical distance from one another, but it is equally necessary to maintain a caring emotional connection to one another. This was the gist of Dr. Oxiris Barbot, the commissioner of the New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene, in one of her recent speeches. Around me I see her words taking shape. I see scared but enthusiastic people taking on the challenges posed by the coronavirus. They are making do with what they have. They are being creative. They are expanding their reach with love and care. I do not know how long it will take before the outbreak passes. I know in Italy, in these dark weeks of quarantine and many deaths, people are scared and in complex mourning. But a deeper sense of community is also taking shape. Many Italians tell me about their silent and empty towns which suddenly awake at specific times with the playing, singing, and dancing of people in their balconies and windows. The repertoire is ample and pleasing to all tastes: Macarena, Nessun Dorma, Azzurro, Fratelli D’italia, and much more. Italians, are a very physical and sensual people, who have found a creative way to “touch” the body and souls of one another through this form of participatory art. Even the most anxious and lonely people now feel part of a bigger wave of love, caring, and hope. The music contains their worries, at least for a moment, in what perhaps is becoming a new ritual.

I do not know how China and many other countries affected by coronavirus are finding resilience from the grassroots. But friends from various sides of the world are reporting that they are becoming more grateful for simple things. They check in on people more often. They appreciate more what was previously taken for granted, like sunny days and outdoor activities. I do not know how we will find resilience here in the USA. Maybe we will not take up singing from our windows (Trevor Noah tried that already). But I am sure we will find our own ways. I do not know who will make it and who we will become at the end of this experience. But I imagine that we will be more aware, humble, and caring.